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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the amount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart chart shows global spending on these games in 2017.

The bar chart shows the amount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart chart shows global spending on these games in 2017.
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The given charts represent the money spent on digital games in the
Unites
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United
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 States and China from 2010 to 2017 and the total spending worldwide
at
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in
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 2017.
In
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At
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 the beginning of the period,
Americans
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 spent the most
in
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on
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 digital gaming
whereas
Linking Words
 the
Chinese
Use synonyms
 overtook
this
Linking Words
 figure
at
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in
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 2017. Both countries showed an increasing trend
while
Linking Words
 China's spending increased more dramatically during the period. Most people spent their money on mobile gaming in 2017 all around the world.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart,
Americans
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 spent
double
Add an article
the double
a double
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amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 of money compared to
Chinese
Use synonyms
 people
in
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on
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 gaming
at
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in
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 2010. 6 years later, the amount of spending was relatively similar at below 25
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
.
At
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In
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 2017,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 people spent more than 25
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 gaming
while
Linking Words
Americans
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 remained at 25
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
. Both
Chinese
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 and
Americans
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 made up almost half the market
of
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apply
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gaming
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide. In 2017, mobile gaming has the largest market around the globe at a figure
46.1
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of 46.1
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billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 computer gaming was the least which was only a quarter of the total market.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words americans, chinese, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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