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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #tv #video #games #entertainment #children #leisure #affect
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Children are spending a colossal amount of their spare time in front of the TV, computers and other devices, where mostly shows, games and various types of entertainment based on a violence in the contemporary world.
Hence
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 it makes
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 concern about the emerging personalities of their children.
This
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 essay will
first
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 discuss the main issue, which is the impact of ubiquitous violence to
children’s’
a young person of either sex
children
 everyday life.
Secondly
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, it will be followed by an analysis of the support from the government and parents tight control as the most effective measures to rectify
this
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 obstacle. Watching violent content on a regular basis makes children believe that all actions and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in the different programs are normal and socially acceptable.
Therefore
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 the probability of acting in the similar way is undoubtedly high and
this
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 might be hazardous for
whole society
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the whole society
 and themselves too.
For instance
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, according to a recent research, it has been revealed that
majority
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the majority
 of children who used to play computer games in their free time are undeveloped in communicating and because of
humiliation
Suggestion
the humiliation
 and scarcity of friends are more likely to commit suicide and serious crimes, as in their virtual world. The way forward might be reached by government’s management of television and the sale of different games in accordance with age categories in stores.
In addition
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, if parents had limited their children and establish own rules, these
problem
Suggestion
problems
 would not be as serious as now.
Thus
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,
instead
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 of allowing them
utilize
Suggestion
to utilize
 time without avail, parents should occupy them with useful activities for health and for the mind as well. In conclusion, one of the main troubles with frequent viewing of violence in
virtual world
Suggestion
the virtual world
by
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of
child
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a child
the child
children
 is that it
has been reflecting
Suggestion
has reflected
 in his real life and
this
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 can be solved through the joint efforts of the state and parents.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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