IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you agree or disagree?

The number of
women
Use synonyms
 has increased
at
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in
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 workplaces
for
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over
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 the past few years.
However
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, some individuals believe that there should be no recruitment of
women
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 in the police department. I do not agree with the statement, and will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
it in the essay. First of all, crime is not gender-based.
In other words
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, criminals can be either males or females, and it is better to employ lady officers to catch female culprits. The reason is that many female offenders have accused the policemen of sexual harassment;
thus
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, some police officers hesitate to interrogate them. A 2017 survey report suggested that 2 to 10% of sexual assault cases by female prisoners against jail staff were false.
Moreover
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, it is easier for a police officer to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminals of the same gender. Another important point to consider in favour of the employment of the lady staff in law enforcement authorities is to encourage
Use synonyms
women
Check wording
women's
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 empowerment. The reason is that these services involve physical training
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due
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, due
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 to which they start feeling stronger.
As a result
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, they stop fearing and walk with confidence
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along
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, along
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 with their colleagues
and
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, and
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 others would
also
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 get inspired by looking at them.
Furthermore
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, these measures are essential in
the
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apply
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developing nations like India, where the
crime-rate
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crime rate
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 against
women
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 is still higher.
Therefore
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, it is becoming vital to take
such
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 steps to strengthen their position in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. In conclusion,
although
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 there are different opinions of people regarding the lady personnel, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 would empower
women
Use synonyms
 and help them gain confidence to stand for their rights.

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content
Have a clear view in the first paragraph and keep it in every paragraph.
structure
Give each idea a small step or detail. Do not stay at the same point for long.
evidence
Use evidence that is true and easy to check. Explain why it helps your point.
language
Use simple, exact words. Check grammar and use correct tense.
stance
The writer takes a clear stand in favour of women in police work.
idea
The essay links topic to women empowerment and to social life.
structure
Introduction and conclusion show the task and end well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent equality
  • law enforcement
  • empathy
  • gender-based violence
  • community relations
  • diversity
  • team performance
  • systemic gender bias
  • physical requirements
  • culture of masculinity
What to do next:
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