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Band 5

Many people who dropout of school are more successful than those who complete their studies. Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful?

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Introduction
In today’s world, there are numerous popular
success
Use synonyms
 stories about people who dropped out of school.
This
Linking Words
 happens because these people perfect practical skills other than academics and the main requirement
is
Suggestion
are
 hard work.
Body paragraph 1
As an old saying goes, ‘’Hard work pays off’’. If you decide to remain in school or drop out and enter the workforce, a hard effort will typically yield results. The examples of people getting rich quickly or without much effort are appealing
outliers
a place of business for retailing goods
outlets
 but not instructive.
For instance
Linking Words
, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, had to undergo a plethora of hardship during his path to
success
Use synonyms
. Apple's products
such
Linking Words
 as Lisa or Apple 2 failed miserably to meet consumers' expectations, which incurred great losses.
This
Linking Words
 downfall of Apple led to Steve Jobs was given the sack at his own company.
However
Linking Words
, he did not quit pursuing his
success
Use synonyms
, he continued to hone his craft at his
second
Linking Words
 company and later gained
success
Use synonyms
 with it. His wild
success
Use synonyms
 and burgeoning franchise relied on his perseverance and diligence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, anyone who dedicates themselves to quality products will yield great results.
Body paragraph 2
With the exception of practical skills, a person without
academics
Suggestion
academic
 training can not get to anywhere. Most of them get jobs doing some kind of manual
labor
Accept comma addition
labour, such
labour such
such
Linking Words
 as training to become an electrician, plumber or cook. These jobs can withstand market fluctuations and with experience, they earn a high salary compared to most university graduates.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, those who dropped out of
school find themselves
Suggestion
school, find themselves
 valued for their practical skills and the main requirement is hard work.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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