IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, more and more tourists re visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

In modern life, some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer travelling where conditions are harsh
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 the
Sahra
Use the right word
Sahara
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 desert or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antarctica
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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 holiday. Spending time in that place has some advantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
take
Verb problem
examine
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 to
benefit
Wrong verb form
benefits
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this
Linking Words
 travelling
can have
Verb problem
apply
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and
also
Linking Words
 the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
. Evidence suggests
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 number of tourists who prefer to go to the conditions is difficult to increase. They understand about harsh climate and enjoy it. Because often
people
Use synonyms
 live in the city and don’t know about another climate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they get a lot of experience.
For example
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 summer I climbed the Damavand mountain. I understood about their continent and environment.
In addition
Linking Words
, living in real life needs more experiences and
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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 other climates
such
Linking Words
 as deserts.
Further
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need excitement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is a good choice. Despite
this
Linking Words
, that journey has some
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. Because the harsh environment is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dangerous. Maybe have some dangerous animals or have bad weather. If
people
Use synonyms
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
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 ready for that situation,
They
Fix capitalization
they
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 are harmed.
For example
Linking Words
, when I went to the mountain, I didn’t know about the weather. The temperature was below zero in the summer. It was hard for me to endure that situation. In conclusion, every experience has advantages and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 care, they can decrease the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
Summary
Change preposition
In summary
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, considering the points discussed above, more
people
Use synonyms
 like to visit the harsh
clime
Use the right word
climate
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue has some benefits for
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it’s more than the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. I think that journeys will increase in the future. Because more
people
Use synonyms
 live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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 and they need excitement.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state what the essay is about and outline the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, use linking words like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' to help connect your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your examples a bit more so the reader understands their importance.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to avoid errors that make your essay harder to read.
task achievement
Try to write more balanced paragraphs, giving equal importance to the benefits and disadvantages.
task achievement
You shared personal experiences, which can make your essay more engaging and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main idea well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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