IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pia charts bellow show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

The pia charts bellow show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.
The two
pia
Correct your spelling
pie
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 charts reveal the comparison of five types of
energy
Use synonyms
 production in France in 1995 and in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
clear
Replace the word
clearly
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 seen that
both
Change preposition
in both
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of
Change preposition
apply
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two
Correct article usage
the two
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 years , the most important production of
energy
Use synonyms
 resources were coal and gas , and they were
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
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 half of the whole
energy
Use synonyms
resours
Correct your spelling
resources
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear and
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
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 of
energy
Use synonyms
resours
Correct your spelling
resources
resource
 produced the least proportions of
energy
Use synonyms
 in France. If we look at
details
Correct article usage
the details
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,
energy
Use synonyms
 was produced by coal with 29, 80% in the
firt
Correct your spelling
first
 year and
this
Linking Words
 was
Add an article
a
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very slight increase of about only 1% to 30.9% in 2005 in France. And
this
Linking Words
 event was the same in 1995 gas produced 29,63% , that was 30,1% after ten years.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, another two types of
energy
Use synonyms
 resources which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
resours
Correct your spelling
resources
 increased
about
Change preposition
by about
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to
Change preposition
apply
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5% and their proportions of
energy
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are
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suitably
Change the word
suitable
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nuclear
Change preposition
for nuclear
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 10,10% ,
while
Linking Words
 other resources 9,10%. But petrol was one of
sources
Add an article
the sources
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 of
energy
Use synonyms
 which decreased in production from 28,27% to 19, 55%, perspective in 1995 and in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "comparison" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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