Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled

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In the bygone era, the kids enjoyed playing outdoor games as a recreational activity.

However

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, in

this

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modern scenario, children love to play indoor games and show interest in watching movies on televisions, computers and laptops which is the matter of concern for parents.These activities affect the

child

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in multiple ways and can be cured by taking proper initiative. To embark with, bloodshed movies on

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can affect the kid in negative ways.As, the teen tries to imitate the most dangerous scene which was shown in a movie and

this

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scene can lead to death of

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child

Suggestion

a child

Also

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, watching too much

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Suggestion

and playing video games puts an evil effect on

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child's health

Suggestion

a child's health

the child's health

.As, screen on

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and computer leaves many harmful radiations which can be stressful for the eyes and can affect the eyesight of the kids.

Moreover

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, these types of activities do not help in the proper physical development of the body.As, in these works no any kind of physical effort is done.

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However these

Accept comma addition

However, these

puts extra stress on the brain and can be dangerous for the health. There are many ways by which

this

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problem can be solved.

Firstly

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, parents should keep an eye to check the activities of their

child

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while they are working on a computer or watching television.So, they can not see violent movies and are not able play bloodshed games.

In addition

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this

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, parents should motivate to their kids to play games like cricket, badminton, volleyball, kho-kho, football, which are helpful for enhancing their creativity and physical development.

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, these activities enhance the quick responding, leadership, co-operation types qualities among

child

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Moreover

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, authorities should put ban on prone and criminal videos on the internet.So that, youth are not able to find

this

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type of material on

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and computers. To conclude with, parents should keep a proper check on their juvenile activities and

also

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give good education to their kids in proper time.

Submitted by harpreetkaurbhullar7 on Fri Apr 24 2020

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams life football, while others think individual sports like tennis and Swimming is better.

The two layouts illustrate the current situation of norbition industrial area and its coming changes which may happen in the following years ,as it can be seen in the maps,there is going to be a vast varition in general structure of this zone in its future plan.