IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #children #video #games #society
Trend of electronic gaming is increasing day by day and the most affected by
this
 trend are the children and youngsters.
This
 essay will discuss the problem associated with
this
 growing trend and the solutions that can be adopted to lower the negative effects of
this
 inclination.
To begin
 the deliberation with the most pivotal issue of excessive computer gaming is the bad effect on the health of children. Young members of the society are quite indulged in
video
 gaming over their electronic gadgets,
such
 as mobile phones and computers, which in consequence
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 their eyesight and their mental health in an adverse way.
Moreover
, children are not socially active these days because they are busy with their gizmos and they do not have enough time to make new friends and indulge in some physical games with them.
As a result
,
video
 gaming has rotten the physical health of youngsters because they are not indulged in physical activities and the social life is
effected
acted upon; influenced
affected
 because they consider
video
 gaming more amusing than making new friends, which in turn
effect
the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion
affect
 a society adversely. There are solutions, which could be implemented to diminish the issues associated with
video
 gaming. Primarily, parents should make their wards
aware
Suggestion
awareness
 about the detrimental effects of playing games over electronic gadgets and tell them about the value of making friends and being social in life.
Moreover
, schools should try to make their students more active in physical sports, as that will make youngsters healthier and they might become good
sportsperson
 in
future
Suggestion
the future
 and have an excellent career in sports.
In addition
, playing a sports increase the team spirit and teach a person to work in a team, which in turn will make children more sociable. To wrap up,
video
 gaming is a problem that has both physical and social effects on the young generation.
However
, there are measures, which can be brought
in
Suggestion
into
affect
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
 if schools and parents put a combined effort into it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • interpersonal skills
  • violent content
  • academic performance
  • social isolation
  • family dynamics
  • educational campaigns
  • parental controls
  • alternative activities
  • content ratings
  • cognition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: