IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of the jobless
population
Use synonyms
 in
japan
Use synonyms
 and the.U.S between 1993 and 1999. At the first glance reveals that
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 drew a different
line
Use synonyms
 upward and downward until
the
Correct pronoun usage
they the
show examples
 reached same percentage of the
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Japanese
unemployment
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
fluctuated
fluctuates
 increased from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 5.0
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1993 and 1999. After the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 peaked in 1998, the
line
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
value
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the US jobless
population
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 decreasing until 1999.
However
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
years
Use synonyms
, the
rated
Replace the word
rate
show examples
peaked and fell to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1996.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following
years
Use synonyms
, the U.S.
Unemployment
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
was drew
Change the verb form
was drawn
show examples
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
line
Use synonyms
 until reached
%
Correct article usage
a %
show examples
5
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
Use synonyms
.
Both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 reached the same
value
Use synonyms
 after 1998. Following the
years
Use synonyms
, the
graph
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 changed
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 ways than the beginning. The US would be increased and the
japan
Use synonyms
 would be decreased. The
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of the jobless
population
Use synonyms
 in
japan
Use synonyms
 and the.U.S between 1993 and 1999. At the first glance reveals that
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 drew a different
line
Use synonyms
 upward and downward until
the
Correct pronoun usage
they the
show examples
 reached same percentage of the
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Japanese
unemployment
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
fluctuated
fluctuates
 increased from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 5.0
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1993 and 1999. After the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 peaked in 1998, the
line
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
value
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the US jobless
population
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 decreasing until 1999.
However
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
years
Use synonyms
, the
rated
Replace the word
rate
show examples
peaked and fell to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1996.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following
years
Use synonyms
, the U.S.
Unemployment
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
was drew
Change the verb form
was drawn
show examples
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
line
Use synonyms
 until reached
%
Correct article usage
a %
show examples
5
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
Use synonyms
.
Both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 reached the same
value
Use synonyms
 after 1998. Following the
years
Use synonyms
, the
graph
Use synonyms
line
Use synonyms
 changed
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 ways than the beginning. The US would be increased and the
japan
Use synonyms
 would be decreased.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly, however, last, secondly".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, graph, population, japan, both, countries, work, force, unemployment, number, percent, value, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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