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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#unemployment #rates #japan #march #report #university #lecturer #information
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The
line
graph
 illustrates
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of the jobless
population
 in
japan
 and the.U.S between 1993 and 1999. At the first glance reveals that
both
countries
 drew a different
line
 upward and downward until
the
Correct pronoun usage
they the
show examples
 reached same percentage of the
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
.
Firstly
, the Japanese
unemployment
number
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
fluctuated
fluctuates
 increased from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 5.0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1993 and 1999. After the
number
 of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 peaked in 1998, the
line
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
value
.
Secondly
, the US jobless
population
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 decreasing until 1999.
However
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
years
, the
rated
Replace the word
rate
show examples
peaked and fell to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1996.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following
years
, the U.S.
Unemployment
number
was drew
Change the verb form
was drawn
show examples
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
line
 until reached
%
Correct article usage
a %
show examples
5
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
.
Both
countries
 reached the same
value
 after 1998. Following the
years
, the
graph
line
 changed
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 ways than the beginning. The US would be increased and the
japan
 would be decreased. The
line
graph
 illustrates
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of the jobless
population
 in
japan
 and the.U.S between 1993 and 1999. At the first glance reveals that
both
countries
 drew a different
line
 upward and downward until
the
Correct pronoun usage
they the
show examples
 reached same percentage of the
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
.
Firstly
, the Japanese
unemployment
number
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
fluctuated
fluctuates
 increased from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 5.0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1993 and 1999. After the
number
 of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 peaked in 1998, the
line
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
value
.
Secondly
, the US jobless
population
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuately
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 decreasing until 1999.
However
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
years
, the
rated
Replace the word
rate
show examples
peaked and fell to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1996.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following
years
, the U.S.
Unemployment
number
was drew
Change the verb form
was drawn
show examples
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
line
 until reached
%
Correct article usage
a %
show examples
5
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
force
.
Both
countries
 reached the same
value
 after 1998. Following the
years
, the
graph
line
 changed
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 ways than the beginning. The US would be increased and the
japan
 would be decreased.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly, however, last, secondly".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, graph, population, japan, both, countries, work, force, unemployment, number, percent, value, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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