IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Both
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts illustrate the
reason
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
select their means
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. The former explains why they choose cycling and the latter points out what led them to
driving
Change the verb form
drive
show examples
. Among the reasons to ride to
work
Use synonyms
, health and fitness occupy 30%, becoming one of the
two
Use synonyms
 largest proportions. Sharing the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 is the environmental
reason
Use synonyms
: riding a bicycle to
work
Use synonyms
consumps
Correct your spelling
consumes
 no fuel and
therefore
Linking Words
 keeps the air fresh. These
two
Use synonyms
 reasons came from more than half of the number of responded
people
Use synonyms
. In the
third
Linking Words
 position is the parking problem. Bicycles are not as cumbersome as cars, and the parking fee is
also
Linking Words
 much lower. 2% less than that (13%) of the
responder
Replace the word
respondents
show examples
 said that riding a bicycle is good with no cost, probably considering the expense for fuel, highway and parking when using a car. The other 12% state that it’s faster than driving, possibly in terms of traffic jams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
reason
Use synonyms
 for comfort takes the largest proportion, about 40%, followed by the
reason
Use synonyms
 related to distance to
work
Use synonyms
, with approximately half
percentage
Use synonyms
. It is understandable since riding a bicycle just works for
people
Use synonyms
 who live close to their workplace
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Sharing the same 14%
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the
reason
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 speed and about the necessity to carry stuff to
work
Use synonyms
. Take 11%, which is the least
percentage
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
reason
Use synonyms
 for safety.
People
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 group might think staying inside the car will be less likely to cause an accident than
expose
Wrong verb form
exposing
show examples
 the pitfalls
while
Linking Words
 cycling. In conclusion, the
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts show
two
Use synonyms
 ranges of reasons for riding and driving respectively
While
Linking Words
 in the first chart, the
reason
Use synonyms
 for healthy, fitness and for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 share the same largest
percentage
Use synonyms
, the opinion that most
people
Use synonyms
 agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 driving in the
second
Linking Words
 chart is its comfort.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, reason, people, work, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: