IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss advantage and disadvantages

#people #time #homes #workplace #advantage
These days people are spending more time away from their residents because they spend longer in their office. I will be elaborate both advantages and disadvantages of
this
.
Accept space
.
To begin
 with
,
Accept space
,
 there are
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of benefits if people
are do
Suggestion
are doing
do
have done
 work outside.
First
 and foremost, when individual are
do
Suggestion
doing
 work away from home and they
are get
Suggestion
get
are getting
 occasion for
enhance
Suggestion
enhancing
enhanced
 skill as well as
represent
Suggestion
representatives
 to the society. Another word
,
Accept space
,
 when person are live without family and they are lean about how self represent to the society as well as
hegemony
Suggestion
the hegemony
 of the employees.
For instance
,
report
Suggestion
the report
a report
say
Suggestion
says
 that which people away from
home they
Accept comma addition
home, they
 become bolder because those are self tackle the barriers.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
there are drawbacks if people
are leave
Suggestion
are leaving
have left
leave
 the home for working outside. They are gradually become far from their family because those are hardly come in the house,
such
 as lack in love
.
Accept space
.
moreover
in addition
Moreover
, these days people are busy schedule and have not time for own make meal so they are more priorities
to
Suggestion
in
 the market food and it is harmful for the individual
this
 lead to medical
problems obesity,
Suggestion
problems, obesity,
 heart attack
,
Accept space
,
blood pressure.
To
Suggestion
In
 summary,
although
 outside
to
Suggestion
of
 the work is
also
 beneficial for the people and they can enhance the skill as well as they are
become
Suggestion
becoming
 bolder and independent in their
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 there are various drawbacks it cannot be denied
such
 as lack in love and impact on the intimate relationship.
Submitted by sodhip03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: