The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
That is
Linking Words
not a secret that gender equality is ensured is today's society, with considerable rise of the women's status.
Although
Linking Words
it is argued that
this
Linking Words
trend has some negative impacts,
such
Linking Words
as the rise in
crime
Use synonyms
rates due to the lack of contribution of women in children's bringing-up process, I would propose there many other contributors apart from that. On the one hand, it's worth to admit that mothers, not always are fully in charge of growing kids. In our modern world we have many single-parent families, partly consisting only fathers or other close relatives. And
this
Linking Words
increase
crime
Use synonyms
incident
numbers
Suggestion
number
cannot be attributed as the main culprit in
such
Linking Words
families.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working hours of women across the globe actually have not increased as substantially as opposed to the
crime
Use synonyms
rates. So that means that there must be other hidden factors, in the face of the low quality of middle-class education, low average well-being of communities.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments should put more effort in improving
Linking Words
this aspects
Suggestion
this aspect
these aspects
of societies' life. To conclude, though some people blame increase in
crime
Use synonyms
figures on the lack of contribution of mother in bringing kids up, I believe there are many more serious conditions causing
this
Linking Words
process. And it would be better for authorities to focus more on these issues.
Submitted by xajdarov.agzam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: