IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions
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Sales Positions are the key position in the companies and the sales personnels should be motivated by way various schemes, where some believe that monetary factor is the only way to increase their performance where others views are that there are few more factors as well which are to be considered as ruling indicators. I presume that
money
Use synonyms
 is the most important factor which satisfy the major needs of the sales person and
also
Linking Words
 keeps them motivated during the period of employment. To embark with, Sales companies, mostly considered sales
target
Use synonyms
 bonuses into the offer letter of the sales team, which is paid only on the achievement of the set
target
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if they achieve 10000
pcs
Suggestion
PCs
pcs'
peaks
 of sales of mobiles in a month,
then
Linking Words
 they will get a bonus of Rs 30000 at the beginning of
next
Linking Words
 month, and they
also
Linking Words
 put their whole efforts to achieve their
target
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 to get the bonus only because they always have plans in their
life
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 which they want to achieve with the
money
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 only.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Money
Use synonyms
 keeps them more focused and goal oriented as well as they always think about the bonus and
target
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 associated with that bonus and put their whole soul and body to reach and complete the
target
Use synonyms
. Some other motivational factors like promotions, Friendly environment at the
work
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 place, politics free offices, no cut through the competition is not much considered by the most of the sales personnel as they have only thought in their mind
that is
Linking Words
, They have to
work
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 hard to earn more and more
money
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 rest other factors mostly considered by the factory workers and office workers where they have to
work
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 the whole day at the same place with the same people. To conclude with, There is saying that
money
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 is everything in the
life
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 and without it
life
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 is nothing. I
also
Linking Words
 believe that
money
Use synonyms
 is the only main factor of motivation during the
life
Use synonyms
 and we all are hungry a lot. Every day we
work
Use synonyms
 only to earn
money
Use synonyms
 and keep our family happy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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