IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to improve such situations Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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In the recent
compitive
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
 era, the
job
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is becoming controversial issue.
Few
Suggestion
Fewer
 masses hold that the human being should compromise with the various situations in their
life
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
but others are in the favour of
change
Use synonyms
. I firmly
standby
Suggestion
stand by
 the latter viewpoint
.
Accept space
.
 In my coming paragraphs, I shall shed light on both points and give my own opinion. In accepting situations side, in the recent
population exploitation
Accept comma addition
population, exploitation
 era, with the increasing number of white colour unemployment, it is hardly possible to get
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
a job
the job
, if a person
change
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 according to his
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 maybe he is not able to get any proper workplace
.
Accept space
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 in every
work
Use synonyms
 area, the
employee
Suggestion
The employee
Employee
An employee
 has to sacrifice
few
Suggestion
a few
 of his tastes. So
,
Accept space
,
there is no need to
change
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
jobs
,
Accept space
,
but the people should learn to tackle every situation. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is
necessary part
Suggestion
a necessary part
 of the
life
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,
Accept space
,
 no doubt, there is need of huge funds to run the train of
life
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, along with earning
,
Accept space
,
 the human should learn to get optimum
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 with limited currency. On turning to the other side, the
work
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is
important part
Suggestion
an important part
 of the
life
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 without
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
no one can get
positive outcome
Suggestion
a positive outcome
 from
work
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, if a worker is not happy with his
work
Use synonyms
 or workplace,
then
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 it is
next
Linking Words
 to possible for him to give appropriate output to the company. So, I think
,
Accept space
,
the
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
knock the
Suggestion
knocks, the
knocks the
 door of better results and shift the mind compass of human being to
work
Use synonyms
 more.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
money
Use synonyms
 is
very serious issue
Suggestion
a very serious issue
,
Accept space
,
 so
,
Accept space
,
 the human should
work
Use synonyms
 hard to get more funds. The sacrifice is not
sole solution
Suggestion
the sole solution
 to tackle the
money
Use synonyms
 problem
.
Accept space
.
 The mankind should try to
change
Use synonyms
 their career
.
Accept space
.
 I think, the masses should
work
Use synonyms
 hard to get good
work
Use synonyms
 opportunities and add funds to make spike present and future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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