Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

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It has been argued that the
retirement
Use synonyms
age should not be fixed irrespective of the occupation. Since some people believe that certain type of workforce required to receive a pension at an early stage and they deserve for
retirement
Use synonyms
,
whilist
Suggestion
whilst
others think that
its
it is
it's
not true.
However
Linking Words
, I
completly
to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent
completely
agree with the flexible
retirement
Use synonyms
due to various reasons.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss those reasons and the categories of employee who required it. The predominant reason is, because of
drastic decrease
Suggestion
a drastic decrease
the drastic decrease
in the mortality rate. People are not sure about their life span and it has been decreasing with the involvement of different factors
such
Linking Words
as food, cultural
adaptions
the act of accepting with approval; favorable reception
adoptions
adaptations
adoption
, changes in the life style and the technological side effects.
Additionally
Linking Words
, employees were not interested to work for longer period
instead
Linking Words
they opt for
volunteer
Suggestion
voluntary
retirement
Use synonyms
.
Its
Suggestion
It's
because of the
grueling
Suggestion
gruelling
working hours and the mental stress they feel at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
.
For instance
Linking Words
, The ABC
inc
Suggestion
Inc
, the parent
companyof
Suggestion
company of
the Google recently revealed that over 40
percenatge
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percentage
of their employees
choose
Suggestion
chooses
the early
retirement
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, since most of workers often feel that there is no point of working even after reaching their lifetime goals.
and
Suggestion
And
they willing to spend their
vluable
having great material or monetary value especially for use or exchange
valuable
time with their family members. Most of workers spend over 60
percenatge
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percentage
of their time
at
Suggestion
in
the workplace only to reach their targets. They often feel that they missed their family life and their ethics.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, with the
over burden
burden with too much work or responsibility
overburden
they get at the working place over a period time, they often
reqyuired
necessary for relief or supply
required
require
a long gap for their duties. In my view, I feel that the farmers and the workers who involved in heavy lifting work, should
required
Suggestion
require
a pension at an early stage. Because of their duties involved in a complex physical work which it often required a considerable energy in order to continue their
responbilities
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibilities
irrespective their age. To conclude, the
retirement
Use synonyms
age should not be fixed rather it should have a
felxible
capable of being changed
flexible
scheme for all the occupations. The farmers and the people involved in physical duties need a prime financial benefit from the government to continue their lives.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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