Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Today, there is an increasing popularity of shows that portray real life violent incidences and computer games that involve extremely barbaric acts. I strongly feel that the kind of shows and games could be highly influential by the viewers and have a bad impact on them.

Firstly

, studies show that a large proportion of youngsters enjoy playing violent games. These games are made utilizing the latest technology to give the audience a larger than life feel. The huge machinery and arms being used for

this

purpose makes the public feel like they are in a very powerful state.

For example

, the latest trending game Pubg, is a combat game where the players are involved in slaughtering their enemies to survive.

This

has become one of the most popular games among teenagers now.

Secondly there

Accept comma addition

Secondly, there

is a fact that all human beings act according to what they watch or see since they are born. Children who watch violent tv shows and programs, might end up thinking that

this

is the normal behaviour of people.

In particular

, school going children watching movies involving fighting scenes might end up bullying their classmates and getting involved in fights. The majority of the uneducated population watching

such

movies and shows idealise these aggressive characters and tend to act like them. These shows and games being available to people of age group without and restriction could be the root cause. With many teenagers getting addicted to these media platforms, it has been reported that the number of teens getting addicted to drugs and drinking has

also

increased.

Also

, the crime scenes like thefts or even trafficking, involving, under aged criminal has seen a rise in the recent days. Imposing strict rules to limit the production of

such

entertainment and

also

having a very stringent age limit that can access

this

can be one of the many ways to overcome

this

matter. In conclusion, since we are living in a technology driven world, the lessons learnt from the tv and computer has a very severe impact on the upbringing and behaviour of people. I strongly believe that

this

issue can be circumvented by the authorities in each country.

Submitted by aishkuks on Thu Apr 30 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

361 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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