IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
Some people claim that
governments
 need to increase direct
taxes
 to spend on
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
 and educational
services
,
while
 others disagree with high
taxes
. I believe that a high level of
taxations
Fix the agreement mistake
taxation
show examples
 could create more social equality. On the one hand, critics have some clear arguments against heavy
taxes
. Taking a large amount of wages may lead to
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of incentive for
hard-working
Replace the word
hard work
show examples
.
That is
, Workers might think the money they have worked hard for is being spent on intangible goals,
instead
 of being spent on betterment of the quality of their lives. On top of that,
dissatisfying
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the high
tax
 may lead to
tax
 avoidance paying
taxes
.
For instance
, some try to minimize their
tax
 payments by some strategies
such
 as using accounting loopholes.
On the other hand
, despite the above-mentioned arguments, I advocate that taxing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 rate by
governments
 could result in social equality. It means high
taxes
 will help
governments
 to ensure that public places are of the highest standards; the places that all members of a society, the poor and the wealthy, can benefit from them. If
taxes
 are too low, the quality of public
services
 will decline and eventually, the only individuals who can manage are the rich.
In addition
, the more salary people are being paid, the
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
tax
 they are being taken. So the wealthiest in society shoulder the biggest burden of
tax
 payments for improving public
services
 to be good for everyone, even the disadvantaged. In conclusion, I believe that
governments
 cannot guarantee
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
services
 and social equality without taking a large part of salaries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: