Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching TV and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?
Nowadays there are a
lot
of kinds of activities, which are used by young people in their life. There is opinion
that Add an article
an opinion
the opinion
children
are good at spending their leisure
time
, whereas
it is argued by others that children
spend too much time
watching TV
and playing video games
and they should use this
time
more reasonably. In my opinion, it is a huge modern problem that children
are sometimes addicted to TV
and games
and it is parents’ responsibility to encourage their kids to spend their leisure
time
properly.
First of all, currently, it is not argued that children
can spend all day in front of a TV
or computer without limitation,
because it is interesting for them. Remove the comma
apply
As a consequence
, they become lazy and stop doing other creative things. For example
, my son, who is 7 years old, can watch animation
movies for several hours, if I do not stop him. After Replace the word
animated
long
Correct article usage
a long
time
watching TV
, he cannot do homework or walk, because he doesn’t feel well and has
a bad mood.
Second of all, if Verb problem
is in
children
are offered to watch TV
and play games
or do some activities, they definitely will choose the first offer. This
is why, it is easy for them, it does not require a lot
of efforts
. Fix the agreement mistake
effort
For example
, you have to spend a lot
of energy doing some exercises, you should spend boring time
with books and notebooks doing homework, but young people usually do not enjoy making extra efforts, as recent research has shown us.
In addition
, the majority of children
cannot make good use of their leisure
time
, therefore
their parents are supposed to limit time
, Correct article usage
the time
which
Correct word choice
that
children
spend with TV
and PC. At this
time
there are a lot
of extra classes for children
, such
as painting, Lego programming, singing, team
sports classes. Young people have opportunities to choose the most preferable activity which they want to learn. Correct word choice
and team
Moreover
, without help
of Add an article
the help
adults
they cannot do it.
In conclusion, for Add a comma
adults,
a
modern Correct article usage
the
generation
it is difficult to choose the right way of spending Add a comma
generation,
leisure
time
, so they spent
too much Wrong verb form
spend
time
playing games
and watching TV
. Therefore
, parents have to play the main role in their children
`s choice
and encourage them to do more productive activities.Fix the agreement mistake
choices
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a positive aspect. However, the development of the main points lacks sufficient support and detail. Make sure to use specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of task achievement. You have provided a comprehensive response to the question, but more specific and relevant examples would strengthen your argument. Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples to address the question more effectively.