Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching TV and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

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Nowadays there are a
lot
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of kinds of activities, which are used by young people in their life. There is
opinion
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an opinion
the opinion
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that
children
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are good at spending their
leisure
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time
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,
whereas
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it is argued by others that
children
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spend too much
time
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watching
TV
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and playing video
games
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and they should use
this
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time
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more reasonably. In my opinion, it is a huge modern problem that
children
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are sometimes addicted to
TV
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and
games
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and it is parents’ responsibility to encourage their kids to spend their
leisure
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time
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properly. First of all, currently, it is not argued that
children
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can spend all day in front of a
TV
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or computer without limitation
,
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apply
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because it is interesting for them.
As a consequence
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, they become lazy and stop doing other creative things.
For example
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, my son, who is 7 years old, can watch
animation
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animated
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movies for several hours, if I do not stop him. After
long
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a long
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time
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watching
TV
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, he cannot do homework or walk, because he doesn’t feel well and
has
Verb problem
is in
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a bad mood. Second of all, if
children
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are offered to watch
TV
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and play
games
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or do some activities, they definitely will choose the first offer.
This
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is why, it is easy for them, it does not require a
lot
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of
efforts
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effort
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.
For example
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, you have to spend a
lot
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of energy doing some exercises, you should spend boring
time
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with books and notebooks doing homework, but young people usually do not enjoy making extra efforts, as recent research has shown us.
In addition
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, the majority of
children
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cannot make good use of their
leisure
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time
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,
therefore
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their parents are supposed to limit
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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,
which
Correct word choice
that
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children
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spend with
TV
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and PC. At
this
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time
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there are a
lot
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of extra classes for
children
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,
such
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as painting, Lego programming, singing,
team
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and team
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sports classes. Young people have opportunities to choose the most preferable activity which they want to learn.
Moreover
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, without
help
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the help
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of
adults
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adults,
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they cannot do it. In conclusion, for
a
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the
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modern
generation
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generation,
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it is difficult to choose the right way of spending
leisure
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time
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, so they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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too much
time
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playing
games
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and watching
TV
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.
Therefore
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, parents have to play the main role in their
children
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`s
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
and encourage them to do more productive activities.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a positive aspect. However, the development of the main points lacks sufficient support and detail. Make sure to use specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of task achievement. You have provided a comprehensive response to the question, but more specific and relevant examples would strengthen your argument. Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples to address the question more effectively.
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