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Band 4

Environmenlol problems ore loo big for individuol countiles ond individuol persons fo oddress. ln olher wotds, we hove reoched fhe sloge where lhe only woy to prolecl lhe environrnenl is ol on inlernolionol level. To whot exfenl do you ogree or disogree wifh fhis opinion?

#environmenlol #ore #loo #individuol #countiles #ond #persons #fo #oddress #ln #olher #wotds #fhe #sloge #lhe #woy #prolecl #environrnenl #inlernolionol #level #whot #exfenl #ogree #disogree #wifh #fhis
Climate change is a phenomenon affecting all
people
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 all walks of life, from individual
citizens
 to whole countries and huge multinational companies.
Therefore
, l disagree with the notion that the only way to address the environmental problems is at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
level
. l firmly believe that
this
 colossal problem can only be handled if all individuals contribute; all governments take
steps
 at
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
level
 and
also
 join hands at an international
level
. Undoubtedly, gigantic
steps
 need to be taken
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and are being taken at the international
level
. The 'COP2f in Paris in November 2015 is a step in
this
 direction. The aim of 'COP2f is well known: to reach a universal agreement limiting the rise in global average temperature to 2'C above pre-industrial levels. All nations are realizing that climate change is one of the greatest challenges faced by mankind today. Many
steps
 can be taken at the national
level
. Governments can aware
people
 of the benefits of using
energy efficient
Add a hyphen
energy-efficient
show examples
 devices.
For instance
,
this
 year government of
lndia
Correct your spelling
India
 gave 2 LED
bulbs
 to each government employee at Rs 10/- each under the "Prakash Path" scheme. The cost of each bulb is Rs 400/-. The cost will be recovered by adding a very small amount
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each month's electricity bill for about a year. ln about 100 cities, the streetlights have been replaced with LED
bulbs
, which is a saving of a huge amount per day. LED
bulbs
 use a tenth of electricity as compared to other
bulbs
. Once
people
 realize that by using LED
bulbs
, their electricity bills will
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
, they will be prepared to make the initial heavy investment
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
Although
 the international and national
level
steps
 are imperative, it is
also
 a fact that individual action combined with governmental action can do a lot more to prevent climate change than if individual
citizens
 were not involved. ln a world of six billion
people
, if everyone stopped wasting water, disposed
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their rubbish properly, started accepting recycled material and stopped succumbing to consumerism,
then
 it would go a long way in solving the problem of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Summing up, individual
citizens
 cannot sit back and say it is someone else's responsibility to protect the environment; we must all play our part - individual
citizens
 and governments at the national and international
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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