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Band 4

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #chat #friends #situations
foodstuff
 is one of the most important ingredients that give energy to human beings. Nowadays,
foods
 can be easily produced and made
cheap
Change the word
cheaply
show examples
 because of rectifying fertilizers and
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of machines.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
usage
 of some methods is becoming dangerous to people's health and the quality of
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might be affected negatively
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 local society. The
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
, do not overweight of
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
Firstly
 , the main affected part of the digesting system to
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of machine
foodstuff
 because before
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the era of technology,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people were made the feeds
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their own hands so it was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very healthy and more suitable for everyone's body.
Secondly
, using technical cousins is increasing some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 to dangerous for everyone.
Lastly
, sometimes coincidentally
foodstuff
 packets
bring
Verb problem
are
show examples
 very old
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 expire on a date and it can be harmful to everybody.
On the other hand
, there is some advantage of fertilizing feeds. First of all, in the 21st century, using technical fields
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 easily available everywhere and their
usage
also
 has become very easy.
For instance
 , some instant
foods
 are sold in the market and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
malls can be very easy to cook and instantly
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
save the most time .
Moreover
 ,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of instant cuisines to
saving our
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 time and trouble-free
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 for everyone like, means
are
Change the verb form
also easily cook
show examples
also
 easily cook the
usage
 of machinery
foods
.
To sum up
, using technology is becoming very easy but
also
 it can be dangerous for health
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
not only
foodstuff
Change preposition
in foodstuff
show examples
 but
also
Change preposition
in
show examples
every field.
Therefore
 , using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foods
 is very careful. I take my side on the disadvantage of
foodstuff
 issues.
Submitted by phamthuhajpml on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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