IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart shows the proportion of tourists
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
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in
Change preposition
apply
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many attraction sites in Brighton of England between 1980 and 2010. From the chart, we can see that
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1980 to 2010, the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 site was the pavilion and the festival. In 1980 the pier was the least popular destination
while
 the art gallery was the least attractive in 2010. During 1980 and 1995, there was a dramatic surge in tourists to the pavilion around 23% to 48% but the figure plunged significantly in 2010 to 30%.
Art
Add an article
The art
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 had the same trend, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of visitors rose drastically in 1985 from 21% to 28% but it dropped below 9% in 2010.
In addition
, visitors to the festival fluctuated slightly between 1980 to 2010 from 30% to 28% and
then
 remained
steadily
Change the word
steady
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 until 2010
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
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 28%.
Finally
, there was a fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in
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 visitors to the pier from 1980 to 2005, after
that
Add a comma
,that
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 the figure had an upward trend
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 12% to 22% between 2000 and 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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