Science tells us some activities are good for our health and there are some unhealthy activities. But millions of people still do those unhealthy activities. Why? What can we do to change this situation?

#science #activities #health #millions #people #change #situation

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There are various benefits

Suggestion

having a healthy lifestyle, and almost all adults recognize

this

Linking Words

as common sense.

However

Linking Words

, a large group of people

persist

Suggestion

persists

in doing unhealthy activities. I,

personally believe

Accept comma addition

personally, believe

that resulting in

this

Linking Words

kind of trend is mainly due to the rapid development of modern society, which leads an uneasy atmosphere. Compared with people from rural area, city residents have faced more

pressure especially

Accept comma addition

pressure, especially

those who work in

metropolis

Suggestion

the metropolis

Therefore

Linking Words

, some unhealthy activities

such

Linking Words

as alcoholism, smoking and even drugs have become them an outlet which can

instantly but

Accept comma addition

instantly, but

briefly relieve them from

painfulness

Suggestion

the painfulness

in reality. For

this

Linking Words

kind of unhealthy activities, people do not need to invest too much energy to get the maximum release

comparing

Suggestion

comparable

to gym activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, unhealthy diets are

also

Linking Words

listed into unhealthy activities. Canned and bottled food,

for example

Linking Words

have probably become

Suggestion

has probably become

priority

Suggestion

a priority

for those civil servants or other occupations whose busy lifestyle, because they have not enough time to prepare lunches or dinners.

In addition

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, due to the popularity of the internet and the developments of the computers, an increasing number of people are willing to choose the new kind of entertainments--- e-sports. I do not think that it will be

help

Suggestion

a help

for people’s health, which just another term of

sedentary lifestyle

Suggestion

a sedentary lifestyle

. Several measures can be taken to change

this

Linking Words

situation.

Firstly

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, the employees’ salary should be increased proportionally through the government’s support, as

main cause

Suggestion

the main cause

of stress mainly come from insufficient wages.

Secondly

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, the government should allocate money to build public areas

such

Linking Words

as parks and basketball courts, residents obtain various options to unwind. In conclusion, some people find it difficult to change their lifestyles and some habits are a result of

stresses

Suggestion

the stresses

of modern life. The government has a vital role to play in dealing with

this

Linking Words

problem.

Submitted by zhangmenger575 on Wed May 06 2020

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Science tells us some activities are good for our health and there are some unhealthy activities. But millions of people still do those unhealthy activities. Why? What can we do to change this situation?

Your opinion

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?