IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

#countries #movement #workers #areas #cities #happen
In the recent era, the labours of underdeveloped nations moving from rural
sector
 to urban areas.
However
,
Accept space
,
this
 essay will explain the causes that why people are going
toward
Suggestion
to
 cities
,
Accept space
,
pluse
on the positive side or higher end of a scale
plus
,
Accept space
,
it
also reveal
Suggestion
also reveals
is also revealing
has also revealed
 the problems if they move toward city centres.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
the reason behind of their
movement
 is unemployment in their home town.In rural areas there are over
population
 and due to
over
too much population
overpopulation
population
 and lack of investment in underdeveloped
areas
Suggestion
area
 job opportunities
also
 less.
That is
 why they move to get
job
Suggestion
jobs
 and earn money for their lives.
Admitidly
Suggestion
Admittedly
,
Accept space
,
the workers are
also
 moving toward cities
,
Accept space
,
because of better living
standered
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
standards
.The life style of
villagers
Suggestion
the villagers
are
Suggestion
is
 generally not good because of unemployment
,
Accept space
,
hence
 they are shifting for earning money and for getting better facilities
,
Accept space
,
such
 as schools
,
Accept space
,
roads and hospitals
.
Accept space
.
To
recaptulate
summarize briefly
recapitulate
 it
,
Accept space
,
it was
examind
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
examined
 that the
movement
 of labourers from rural areas to developed ones in Pakistan
,
Accept space
,
because of
eployment
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
 and for better living
standered
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
standards
.
Therefore
, there are some problems due to
laboure
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
force
movement
.
in
Suggestion
In
 the
first
 hand they create the problem of
over
too much population
overpopulation
population
 in city areas.The shifting of workers toward
urban
Suggestion
the urban sector, which
the urban sector which
sector
 which
cause
 numerous problems for
government
Accept comma addition
government, such
such
 as unemployment and high traffic.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
they
also creates
Suggestion
also create
 the problem of
reduce
Suggestion
reduction
reducing
 in agricultural product, the
movement
 of workers from villages which
cause
 lack of work
force
 in agriculture
sector
 that
cause
 low production and many lands remain cultivated due to lack of
laboure
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
force
.To exemplify it, it was observed in
last
 few
decade
Suggestion
decades
 that the reason behind of low production of agriculture were fewer worker in
fields
Suggestion
the fields
. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
there are two
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for
movement
, to get employed and for better long
standered
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
standard
 and the
movement
cause
 some problems
such
 as
over
too much population
overpopulation
population
 in
city centre
Suggestion
the city centre
 and low production in
agriculture
Suggestion
the agriculture sector
sector
,
Accept space
,
therefore
 there are
few problems
Suggestion
a few problems
 but
movement
 of
active
Suggestion
the active force
force
 is
frouitful
productive or conducive to producing in abundance
fruitful
grateful
frightful
 for
there
of them or themselves
their
 lives.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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