For children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.

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continuous

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continuously

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evolving modern world, there are a lot of transitions occurring in all sectors including the educational sector. Edification once was confined to science, technology and languages.

However

Linking Words

, these days

music

Use synonyms

and sports are assimilated into education. Some say that playing musical

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

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should be given equal prominence as much as reading and writing. I do not agree with

this

Linking Words

view. In the first place, I feel Rudimentary education

such

Linking Words

as reading and writing should not be compared with

music

Use synonyms

and arts. Teaching the abilities of writing and reading are imperative because they constitute

Change preposition

apply

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the growth of an individual irrespective of the career one

choose

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chooses

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Additionally

Linking Words

, with these abilities, a person is considered

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

literate which in turn reflects the literacy rate of the nation.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

focuses on literacy to envisage the phase of development of the country. India, one of the rapidly developing nations placed major emphasis on elementary education so that more youngsters get employed in diverse sectors.

Linking Words

Nevertheless

Add a comma

Nevertheless,

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it is always a good idea to introduce children to arts at an early age. Making them learn

music

Use synonyms

could develop them into professional musicians but

music

Use synonyms

and art is one

such

Linking Words

field where everybody would not be able to make a career. These interests should either

be existing

Wrong verb form

exist

show examples

innately or be nurtured. Pupils have to be given a choice to opt

Change preposition

for

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these talents rather than imposing on them. Some may be interested in sports, some in arts, some in science and some in

music

Use synonyms

. A recent survey by Professors at

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of California indicated that 67% of students under the age

Change preposition

of 15

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studying at

music

Use synonyms

schools are forced to learn

music

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

interests

differed

Wrong verb form

differ

show examples

. In conclusion, though teaching musical instruments to children is a positive facet, I strongly feel,it should be their choice,

while

Linking Words

reading and writing have more relevance to them. Votes Cancel rating Give it 1/10 Give it 2/10 Give it 3/10 Give it 4/10 Give it 5/10 Give it 6/10 Give it 7/10 Give it 8/10 Give it 9/10 Give it 10/10 Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Sun May 10 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

356 words

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For children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?