Avoiding preventable illness is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments.
In recent years the debate of who held the priority to avoid preventable illnesses between individuals and the jurisdiction has gained a lot of traction. The power,
in particular
, is always getting the heat when it comes to this
debate. People
regularly seek to blame the state for the slightest mistake they made, especially now when the whole world
is on a global scale lockdown, people
still hold the rule accountable for their inability to prevent and contain the spread of the viral outbreak, even though the rule has at least tried to provide some sort of basic countermeasure. Furthermore
, the force should not always be 100% held responsible in
avoiding preventable disturbance in society, but rather it comes down to the individual seriousness of the Change preposition
for
people
itself
to truly avoid preventable Correct pronoun usage
themselves
ailment
The research from W.H.O (Fix the agreement mistake
ailments
World
well-being
Organization) suggests that 6 of the 10 leading factors contributing to the global burden of disease can be attributed to lifestyle. Lifestyle has played a major role in causing a disturbance in a more modern nation, and lifestyle is not something that the power Capitalize word
Well-being
could
directly control because it’s something that comes down to the individual Wrong verb form
can
characters
and behaviour of the person. Fix the agreement mistake
character
A thing
Correct your spelling
Things
such
as unsafe/ unprotected sex, alcoholism, high cholesterol diet, and usage of tobacco is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
something that is
deeply rooted in behaviour, those such
things are the factors which Correct quantifier usage
apply
causes
the most common malady/ Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
diseases
in today's society. Many governments of the world
have spent billions to combat obesity, alcoholism, HIV
/ AIDS yet the problem persists. Correct word choice
and HIV
This
just proves that many people
are still irresponsible with their well-being and why individual duty is key to avoid this
metra of avoidable illnesses, as even the country such
as Finland and England with the most developed well-being care system
in the Fix the agreement mistake
systems
world
suggest to Fix the agreement mistake
their
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
people
that individual influence for strength and well being are also
important Some people
might say that this
point of view has a flaw because how could someone be held responsible for their well-being when they have mental incompetence, addictive behavior
, or perhaps cultural pressure, certainly these Change the spelling
behaviour
people
wouldn’t be held accountable right ?. While
there is no denying such
a statement, but
it’s only true to some extent. Correct word choice
apply
This
is why an individual can’t be 100% held responsible for their strength, both law and individual people
must have the restraint to some degree, but the greater emphasize
Replace the word
emphasis
are
put on the individual itself. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
As for
Change preposition
For
an
example, a state could provide a plethora of vaccines for various Correct article usage
apply
diseases
such
as measles, yellow fever, chickenpox, influenza, etc., these vaccines-able diseases
could kill 2.5 million people
each year if left untreated base upon
Change preposition
to
Correct article usage
the W.H.O
W.H.O
report from 2012. Now imagine that there is a woman Correct your spelling
W.H.O.
that
refuses to be vaccinated because he/ she thinks vaccines wouldn’t do anything. It can clearly be seen that individual gravity is Correct pronoun usage
who
also
needed to avoid preventable malady
/ Fix the agreement mistake
maladies
diseases
, and from the previous example that is
the power of that customer to vaccinate her/ himself In summary individual interest is needed to avoid preventable diseases
, but a woman can’t be held 100% responsible for their well-being since they potentially inhabit some disabilities that prevent them to do so, hence
why some sort of government responsibility is also
required to complete the whole cycle. The preventable disturbance in society is commonly caused by the behaviour.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion