IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Employers sometimes ask people appying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
In a job interview, employers may ask questions about candidate's personal
information
 like hobbies, dislikes and marital status. Some people believe it is helpful
information
 and some may not agree with that. I
also
 disagree with that. On the one hand, some people believe that to give personal
information
 like hobbies and interest is helpful for employers.
For example
, an employer can give incentive to employees for their relevance. An employer can give membership or gift card on the basis of their interest.
On the other hand
, some people disagree with that
information
 doesn't helpful for employers and I
also
 agree with that. I believe that employee personal
information
 and marital status doesn't affect with performance. In some case, the interviewer may want to hire bachelor candidates with respect to married candidates because they can work night shifts and weekend
also
. An employer can take advantage of that. As per my opinion, to give personal
information
 like hobbies, interest and marital status is not helpful.
Submitted by shreya.patel284 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: