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Band 7.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant example

#salary #job #satisfaction
Money is one of the most important thing to live, without money, it is hard to survive in a materialistic society. People have differing views with regard to a question of whether considerable stipend is more significant than contentment in a job. Personally, I advocate they are both important and people need to balance them, in
this
 essay I will discuss why. Everyone cannot dispute the fact that without cash, almost everything is harder, from eating to entertain oneself.
Additionally
, if someone wants to improve their lives, property is essential,
for instance
, IELTS examination costed about 7000 Baht, actually,
that is
 quite a lot of money for poverty.
Furthermore
, nowadays the cost of living is getting higher every year. Eventually, people have to struggle in order to get higher revenue.
On the other hand
, delightful is always on the opposite side of hard-working. People can have more wages when work harder, while the constitutional ordeals seem to come. Currently there are more suicide attempts than the past, part of
this
 belongs to job hindrance, because nothing comes for free,
thus
, large amount of wealth is in exchange of vitality.
Moreover
, when one does not have inspiration, it is easy to be bored and people trend to lose their responsibilities. In conclusion, as I stated before, large amount of salary is important for living in upheaval society, but job contentment is
also
 a cornerstone to make people still working with joyful and not losing their responsibilities. Eventually, I assert both of the issues are significant equally.
Submitted by hasekawa.tk on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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