Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Media plays an important role in everyone's life. While some people think that society gets influenced by the violent content shown on television, others argue that these factors do not have

effect

Suggestion

an effect

on how people behave.

This

essay agrees that

such

factors not

Accept comma addition

factors, not

only harms children's

mindset but

Accept comma addition

mindset, but

also

influences adults. Watching bloodshed brutality on video games or on television manipulates children's behaviour in a psychological manner. The young minds can be easily manipulated that harming others in not a

sin thereby

Accept comma addition

sin, thereby

developing a character to fight with their peers. Games like pub which displays plenty of violence impacts their ability to perform normal functions

such

as helping others. Clearly, violence prevents them from becoming a kind individual. Being exposed to

assaulting visuals

Suggestion

the assaulting visuals

in the media increase in the crime rate. Violent content like robbery scenarios in the movies motivate them to hurt others to gain money. Reality shows portrayed on certain channels elucidates covering up

crim situation

Suggestion

the crime situation

crime situation

crimes situation

with the help of latest technology is an influential content on the individuals to abide the law.

As a result

, these

type

Suggestion

types

of visuals restrict a person from becoming a responsible citizen. In conclusion, violence on television influences not only

children but

Accept comma addition

children, but

also

adults by exploiting them psychologically and making adults more aggressive. I strongly believe that it harms everyone in the society irrespective of age group.

Submitted by starletlovemusic on Tue May 12 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

It is common aspiration among many young peopleto run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fossil fuel almost finish from this world, so many countries try to find alternative resources. Can you describe the advantages and disadvantages of this energy?