Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #tv #video #games #entertainment #children’s #leisure #affect #children

Nowadays video games and TV set shows for children contains many violent contents which are having negative effects on them. Children sometimes are influenced by action and heroic games, which may include extreme rampage, vandalism and terrorism.

Such

games have

detrimental effect

Suggestion

a detrimental effect

detrimental effects

on their behaviour. They may imitate violence in real life if they are constantly exposed to

such

content.

Teenager

Suggestion

The teenager

A teenager

may get inspired by a character in television, who is shown consuming liquor and other toxic substance, as a consequence they may adapt

such

habit in their daily life.

For example

, according to the research conducted by Cambridge University in the year 2019 states that 75% of teenagers consume illegal substances like tobacco after watching it on television. One of the evident way to tackle the negative impact on children is by monitoring a child activity throughout the day.

This

means that parents should ensure that they do not watch any explicit contents either on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

or on mobile.

Secondly

, parents must educate their offspring about the repercussions of engaging in violent activity.

For instance

, they can take their child to visit any juvenile recreational

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

, where

adolscents

a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity

adolescents

are kept for engaging in petty crimes.

Finally

government

Suggestion

the government

governments

may impose

strict penalty

Suggestion

strict penalties

a strict penalty

and punishment on media and other digital platforms motivating or telecasting explicit contents on television. In conclusion, children are easily exposed to violence and it is

also

inevitable to prevent,

therefore

parents should ensure that their off springs are aware of the harmful results if engaged in violence and future losses.

Submitted by sjdfljksdf on Tue May 12 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Using mobile apps to pay has become more popular in many states. Although making a payment through phones poses security risks, this essay believes that this practice offers more benefits to people because it brings convenience when going out.
4
band
It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that reading has better contributed to creativity and language learning than television. In my opinion, reading is beneficial to imagination and language learning.
5.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In recent decades , the breakthrough in the education system has been obviously popular . While there are numerous amount of people who claim that history is most crucial to learning in schools. Other crowds think that technology and science are the best academic curriculum to address. From my perspective , I believe that the latter view is an essential part for the country to focus on because the world depends utterly on these matters . I will discuss both views below in the following paragraphs .
4.5
band
Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?
There is no doubt in saying that large shopping centres have somehow overtaken the business of small, local shops in their respective local markets. Not only local communities are being negatively affected due inefficiency of the local market to stay in competition with major shopping centres but it is disadvantageous for the income generation of vendors involved in this business. According to my perception, for the benefit of local shops and ,communities it is essential to improvise the quality of goods, and other items which are being sold by the local vendors to engage customer retention.
6.5
band
An increasing number of people are buying items which they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online.
More and more people are purchasing items they require on shops online. Despite its numerous benefits such as convenience and privacy, there are also drawbacks that should be taken into account.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

An increasing number of people are buying items which they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online.