IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that employees should change their jobs atleast once in their life time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #employees #change #jobs #atleast #life #time
Changing
career
 by workers in their
life
 span is opted by many and it might be a positive approach for their development.
However
, some individual argue
this
 by several reasons. I
,
Accept space
,
personally, agree with
job
 shifting and would support my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs. It is easy to
cmprehend
get the meaning of something
comprehend
,
Accept space
,
why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 support
this
 viewpoint by two major factors. The preponderant is that it would help employees to inculcate new skills as each
job
 demands different skills
.
Accept space
.
For example
,
Accept space
,
 if a worker is working as a team leader in an organisation, probably, he may get new responsibilities in a new company
such
 as, marketing and training.
which ultimately
Accept comma addition
Which, ultimately
Which ultimately
, aids to new experiences and skills. The
second
 major benefit of changing jobs could be related to
finacial
involving financial matters
financial
 securities and
career
 growth. To elucidate, If a worker is doing a similar
job
 throughout his
life
,
Accept space
,
it may become tiring and mundane
,
Accept space
,
and
hence
, reduce
enthusiasim
a feeling of excitement
enthusiasm
 about his work.
Consequently
; effect persons
permotion
a message issued in behalf of some product or cause or idea or person or institution
promotions
permission
 and salary raises.
On the other hand
, if an individual is changing his
job
 more frequently, he
play
Suggestion
plays
 his role more
intentively
in an intensive manner
intensively
intuitively
 to secure his position in the new organisation
,
Accept space
,
and
this
 would surely help to get promotions and bonuses.
Thus
, shifting jobs not only aids to new
experiences but
Accept comma addition
experiences, but
also
 raise employees financial conditions. Despite these benefits, some workers do not in favour of changing their
job
 because they get familiar with the working environment and company's policy, and
hence
 they are living a smooth
life
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
, some people could not adjust to
new environment
Suggestion
the new environment
 because they are introverts.
Thus
, changing
career
 would never be a best option for them. In short, people who are afraid of facing
new challanged
Suggestion
new challenges
new challenge
a new challenge
 with new jobs are always opposes
this
 idea. In conclusion,
although
 new jobs bring new
challanges
take exception to
challenges
,
Accept space
,
 it is necessary to face obstacles to grow in every field of
life
. I, firmly, believe that one should shift his
career
 to get achieve their desired goals.
Submitted by gurineet726 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: