Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, because of

hectic

Correct article usage

a hectic

show examples

lifestyle,

people

Use synonyms

have to suffer from work and study pressure

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they need to relax

Change preposition

through

show examples

leisure

activities

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there are some

entertainment

Use synonyms

facilities which too expensive for

people

Use synonyms

to afford

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think that it

just

Verb problem

is just

show examples

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

responsibility to pay

Change preposition

for it

show examples

, I personally think that

entertainment

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

should be financed by the

government

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is an actual fact that the budget in the country should

priority to

Replace the word

prioritise

show examples

important sectors

such

Linking Words

as education, healthcare,

transportation

Correct word choice

and transportation

show examples

However

Linking Words

, the recreation

activities

Use synonyms

help

people

Use synonyms

maintain physical fitness and have a positive effect on mental health. Sport

activities

Use synonyms

like tennis, football, volleyball,… make the

human’s

Check wording

human

show examples

body healthier and have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good health to finish work, but some

people

Use synonyms

may

can’t

Verb problem

not be able to

show examples

afford

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

they need

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

support from the authorities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, leisure

activities

Use synonyms

will help

people

Use synonyms

relax after intensive work or study.

For instance

Linking Words

, visiting an exhibition, going to a concert or just watching a movie will help

people

Use synonyms

Verb problem

feel at

show examples

ease and more relive.

Secondly

Linking Words

, allocating budget to promote recreation

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

such

Linking Words

as sports centres, swimming pools, beaches, public libraries,

zoo

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

show examples

, ….

Correct pronoun usage

It is

show examples

not only entertaining, but

also

Linking Words

can be a rich source of earning money for the

government

Use synonyms

. As a stark example, by collecting entrance fees for safari, theatre or music

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

, not only

the authority can

Correct word order

can the authority

show examples

earn a huge profit from citizens

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

also

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can experience many different types of

entertainment

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, many benefits can be gained if the

government

Use synonyms

subsidize

Verb problem

subsidises

show examples

entertainment

Use synonyms

or leisure

activities

Use synonyms

. I totally agree that it is the thing

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should do for the

sakes

Fix the agreement mistake

sake

show examples

of the country and

citizens

Correct pronoun usage

its citizens

show examples

19030505

May 14, 2020

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grammar

Fix basic grammar and word form. Use simple, clear sentences.

organization

Make each paragraph have one main idea and add topic sentence.

development

Give more precise reasons and more varied, real examples; add a small counter view and a short answer to it.

content

The writer shows a clear view and keeps it through the essay.

coherence

There is a simple order with an intro, some body, and a conclusion.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Charities and organizations always give special names to particular days such as 'National Children's Day' and 'National Non-smoking Day'. What are the causes of these particular days? How effective are they?