IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that in present times, women do get as much equality at work as men, while others believe that even today women have to fight their way to succeed at work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #times #women #equality #work #men #fight
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Gender
Equality
 at
work
 has been gradually achieved in recent
times
.A fair amount of people
agrees
Correct subject-verb agreement
agree
show examples
 that
women
 get equal
equality
 at
work
 as
men
while
 others disapprove.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the essay in detail.In my opinion, there are still some areas where we need to improve
gender
 discrimination. On one hand, many
companies
 are organizing events to provide more opportunities for
women
 to make their
companies
 a far better place in terms of
gender
equality
.Many
companies
 are giving, offering higher positions to
women
employees
 as same as
men
.A lot of countries are now launching awareness
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 among the citizens to give
work
 opportunities to the
women
 and make their country a harmonious place for all.In recent surveys, many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 claim that the
companies
 which have an equal
gender
 ratio
gender
 ratio of
employees
 achieve more optimum results than the
companies
 which is more
men oriented
Add a hyphen
men-oriented
show examples
.
Besides
this
 many
companies
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
also
 encouraged
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 to take more leadership roles and to become role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for other
women
employees
.
On the other hand
, there are still some areas where
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
lagging
Wrong verb form
lag
show examples
 behind
men
.
According to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey by the
Times
 of India, there are only 20%
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 in leadership roles in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
.
Women's
Change noun form
Women
show examples
 are always not offered managerial positions
due to
 the fact that they won't be able to commit 100% because they need to take care of their family and children.
However
this
 is not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases, in recent
times
, many
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 are able to give
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 commitment and hours to their
work
 as
other's
Change noun form
other
show examples
 male
employees
. In conclusion,
gender
equality
 has improved in recent
times
 we still need to
work
 towards encouraging
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 the support they need.
Work place
Correct your spelling
Workplace
show examples
 will become better if they have
gender
equality
.
Submitted by priyaa.jass on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical organization of the essay to ensure a more coherent and cohesive structure. The arguments should be presented in a more organized and connected manner.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay effectively responds to the prompt by providing a more comprehensive discussion of both views and presenting a clear opinion. The examples provided should be more relevant and specific to support the arguments.
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