the line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

the line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.
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The line graph illustrates the
consumption
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of fish and meat consumed by the residents
in
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of
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a European nation between 1979 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
chicken
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increased in popularity of
consumption
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while
Linking Words
other sectors reduced over the period. The unit is measured in
gram
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grams
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per person per week. In detail, in 1979, roughly 220
grams
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were
a
Correct article usage
apply
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beef
consumer
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consumers
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and accounted for the most popular meat compared to that of others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, about halved of that number
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consumed
chicken
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and lamb (150
grams
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). People Consumed fish only 60
grams
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in the initial year. In the following decade, beef
consumer
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consumers
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fluctuated over the period
while
Linking Words
decreasing in lamb and
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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in
chicken
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. After the year 1989, inhabitants preferred
chicken
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in their
meal
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meals
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and it surged to about 250
grams
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in 2004.
However
Linking Words
, beef and lamb
consumption
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reduced remarkably to about 120
grams
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and 70
grams
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consecutively.
However
Linking Words
, the popularity of fish
consumption
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remained almost constant throughout the period.
Submitted by fernnizz.r on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, chicken, grams with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • meat
  • increase
  • decrease
  • popularity
  • steady
  • stable
  • significant
  • period
  • type
  • contrast
  • decline
  • greatest
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