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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #figures #japan #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates the variation in the Japanese
population
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 in millions,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1950 to date and their projected numbers at two points in
future
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 I.e. In 2035 and 2055. The tabular data represent the total figure and percentages of elderly
people
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 who are aged
65years
Correct your spelling
65 years
 and above during the same time frame.
Overall
Linking Words
, an increasing trend was noted in the Japanese
populace
Use synonyms
 during the twentieth century.
Although
Linking Words
 the
population
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 has remained constant in the early twenty-first century, it is expected to follow a downward course in
future
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the elderly
population
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 has been shown to rise in the past and will continue to hike in the
future
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 as well. The
population
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 of Japan was around 85
million
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,
Linking Words
to begin with
Change the verb form
beginning
show examples
 in 1950. A gradual increase in the
size
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 of the
population
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 was observed till 1990, when it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
125
million
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, with an average hike of around 5% every five
years
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. From 1995
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2005, the volume of the
populace
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 stayed almost constant and the number of
people
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 peaked
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 127.8
million
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. In
future
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,
however
Linking Words
, the total number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 is expected to plunge to a figure of 89
million
Use synonyms
 in 2055.
This
Linking Words
 drop in
population
Use synonyms
 over
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 50
years
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 is expected to be consistent with the rise in the
people
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 in the twentieth century.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a constant hike in the statistic of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
Use synonyms
 (aged 65yrs and above) is noted. They comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 5% of the total
populace
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 in 1950 (4
million
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). After almost 55
years
Use synonyms
 their percentage multiplied to reach one-quarter of the total
population
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, and
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are thought to reach one-
third
Linking Words
 of the total
populace
Use synonyms
 in 2035 and almost 40% in 2055.
Submitted by aadidoc508 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, size, future, people, years, populace, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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