IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. To what extend do you agree?

It is thought among a few that wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 have greater responsibilities towards less developed nations in the form of developing their
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 system
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as education. I fully agree with these concepts through
Correct article usage
the experts
show examples
experts
Check wording
experts'
show examples
 exchange
programs
Use synonyms
 in
treatment
Correct article usage
the treatment
show examples
 section and providing
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
 for tertiary level of education. Experts exchange
programs
Use synonyms
 can be forwarded by creating mutual opportunities for
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 professionals to visit each
other
Check wording
other's
show examples
 working
facilities
Use synonyms
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 on those
facilities
Use synonyms
 for a time being to exchange skills. To carry forward
programs
Use synonyms
 like these
financially
Punctuation problem
, financially
show examples
 advanced
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 should provide logistics to persons who have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 motivation to work in
under developed
Use the right word
underdeveloped
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. They can
also
Linking Words
 arrange extra job
facilities
Use synonyms
 in their host
countries
Use synonyms
whole
Punctuation problem
, whole
show examples
 are
entitled
Correct determiner usage
all entitled
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 volunteer experiences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 workers from poor economic states should
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
offer
Replace the word
offered
show examples
 to visit
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
 of
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
in
Check wording
facilities in
show examples
 strong economic conditions
Check wording
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. Scholarship opportunities should gain the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 priority for
inter
Use the right word
inter-country
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 educational support
programs
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 process, meritorious students, who are potential
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
show examples
 for economically challenging
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 as they would be future
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 of those
countries
Use synonyms
,
owing
Verb problem
are expected
show examples
 to come back to develop their
mother land
Use the right word
motherland
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, they can show their creativity in a suitable and competitive environment that might be only available to the healthy GDP owners. A bilateral trust and cooperation would emerge if
this
Linking Words
 kind of healthy relationship persists among totally opposite economic
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
Check wording
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 with opposite economic profiles should build a bridge by
assist
Replace the word
assisting
show examples
 in
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and educational promotion
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will not only gear the economically
marginalize
Verb problem
marginalised
show examples
Use synonyms
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 development
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
economically
Correct word order
also economically
show examples
 solvent
countries
Use synonyms
 will get output in the name of fame and discovery of talented individuals
Correct word order
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
. The world is a global village now
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 no opportunity should be restricted by the
bracket
Check wording
boundaries
show examples
 of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.

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Task response
Make a plan. Start with your view in the first line. Use one main idea per paragraph and add one clear example for each idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Link ideas smoother. Use small linking words like also, but, and then, for example to make flow.
Strength
The writer shows a clear view that rich countries should help.
Strength
Two main ideas show how to help: exchange of experts and scholarships.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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