IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programs #services #schools #hospitals
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It's sometimes argued that the governments should spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on public services rather than investing on in
space
Use synonyms
 programmes. While I agree with
this
Linking Words
 kind of scheme would be a good idea, there are still some advantages when authority spends the
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
Use synonyms
 projects. Due to the scarcity of different resources on our planet, there are two
prons
a pointed projection
prongs
brains
 of exploring
space
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we may discover some new power resource to fix the very problem.
Secondly
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, investing on
space
Use synonyms
 programme may lead to the
improven
getting higher or more vigorous
improving
 of technology, which may
also
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 bring some commercial benefits to the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 country wants to use the same resource or technology, it will have to ask our government or invest
money
Use synonyms
 funds into the same programme. But at the same time, if
public
Suggestion
the public
 is lack of investments, it will arouse some serious issues.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is not enough
money
Use synonyms
 to protect the citizens' basic rights. If educational or medical services are without good quality or even
quanitity
Suggestion
quantitative
quantity
,
consequantly
(sentence connectors) because of the reason given
consequently
 there will not be enough capable and healthy workers in the society.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may
also
Linking Words
 lead to high crime rates or poverty.
For example
Linking Words
, if one
can not
can not
cannot
 even have a proper education chance, he/she may be reluctant to take social responsibility or contribute anything to the public, or even commit crimes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there may be some benefits
space
Use synonyms
 programme investments could bring to us, taking steps to address the public issues is still the major responsibility our governments should take.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay argued that public
programmes investment
Accept comma addition
programmes, investment
are
Suggestion
is
 more vital.
Submitted by maotoujungame on

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