For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

#time #art #part #cultures #world #people’s #values #science #technology #business #arts #attention

From the ancient time

art

has been playing a key role in our life.

Nevertheless

Accept space

this

modren

belonging to the modern era; since the Middle Ages

modern

era importance of a person's life have changed and people emphasize science

Accept space

technology

and business.In

this

will discuss, why

Suggestion

has this occurred

is this occurring

is this occurs

this

occurs and what are the reasons

Accept space

thus

will lead to

logical conclusion

Suggestion

a logical conclusion

the logical conclusion

logical conclusions

. IN

thesedays

Suggestion

these days

, science is going so far.

scientist

Suggestion

The scientist

Scientist

are

Suggestion

keen to work because they found it interesting and they love do researcher on

particular thing

Suggestion

a particular thing

particular things

they

Suggestion

They

have

responsbilty

Suggestion

the responsibility

responsibility

of the

thier

coming next after the second and just before the fourth in position

third

country

Accept space

medical

technology

development etc.

for

Suggestion

For

instantiate

Suggestion

instance

, if

any desease

Accept comma addition

any, disease

any disease

is spreading all over the countries scientist do research on how to get rid of it.

moreover

in addition

Moreover

, it can be said that

technology

is would be the same as science but there are some

differance

the quality of being unlike or dissimilar

differences

difference

for

Suggestion

For

example

Accept space

without moving from your bed you can get food by just simply clicking on your phone and your food will be at your

door step

the sill of a door; a horizontal piece of wood or stone that forms the bottom of a doorway and offers support when passing through a doorway

doorstep

and lot more things.

On the other hand

Accept space

art

crucial part

Suggestion

a crucial part

of our

cultural life it

Suggestion

cultural life, it

can not

cannot

difined

clearly characterized or delimited

defined

defended

into

Suggestion

the words.

Art

is a

diveded

separated into parts or pieces

divided

into the genres and it is divided into sub genres

Accept space

anyhow there are few forms of

art music,dance

Suggestion

art, dance music

Accept space

sculpture and so on.

people

Suggestion

People

are attracted

towords

near

towards

toward

the

art whether

Accept comma addition

art, whether

it is a form of music or dance.

Suggestion

other words, in a marriage

art

is used for entertainment purposes

Suggestion

arranging a

kareoke

singing popular songs accompanied by a recording of an orchestra (usually in bars or nightclubs)

karaoke

Accept space

music band etc.

further

Suggestion

Further

Accept space

sculptures and paintings are more likely to show the point of view of the world. In conclusion, people are enjoying the

technology

because a person

do not need

Suggestion

does not need

any skill to use that.

although

Suggestion

Although

Accept space

they enjoy

art

too but

Accept comma addition

too, but

art

need skills by concluding

this

we can clearly see that a person is depending on the others

Accept space

by the

technology

people become

use

Suggestion

used

to it that can be

reason

Suggestion

the reason

a reason

they are moving towards

technology

Submitted by jaspreets817 on Sun May 17 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
evolve
technological advancements
overshadowing
financial pressures
practical careers
digital entertainment
accessible
integrated
curricula
fostering
emotional intelligence
public art projects
engage
interactive

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others than women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many counties, women and man are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subject so as to help the country make progress and develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?