The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
A glance at the bar graph provided reveals
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
places visited by various
people
living in Canada
people
such
as native Canadians, new
migrants
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in
English
-speaking
countries
and new
migrants
for whom
English
is not the first language in their country.
Overall
, it is evident that Canadians prefer the cinema to the theatre, but the library is popular among new
migrants
, which
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may reflect the financial circumstances of these new citizens. Looking at the figure in more detail, the cinema is by far the most popular for those with
English
as their first language — 70% native
people
while
migrants
from
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
show examples
and
non-
Correct your spelling
non-English
show examples
English
speaking
countries
made up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 65% and 50% respectively. Turning to the immigrants from other
non-
Correct your spelling
non-English
show examples
English
speaking
countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more interested in going to libraries, which is 55%,
however
, roughly 40% of the other two groups say they visit the library.
However
, the zoo is most famous among
English
-Speaking immigrants made up which made up about 50 %,
whereas
native Canadians and
non-
Correct your spelling
non-English
show examples
English
speaking
migrants
sum up to about 40% and 32% respectively.Turning to
further
information, the theatre is least popular for all type
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
with only 10% of non-
English
-speaking
migrants
attending which is exactly half the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
people
and here immigrants from
English
-speaking
countries
tops the list.
Submitted by shokhrukh95 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, migrants, countries, english with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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