IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates how many males and females
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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studied in
full-time
Add an article
the full-time
a full-time
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 and part-time discipline in the following years: 1970 to 1971, 1980 to 1981 and 1990 to 1991.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in all three time
periods
Add a comma
,periods
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 more people of both sexes were involved in part-time training than
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
 the total of men in
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 discipline rose from approximately 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 to 200
thousand
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of men in part-time education was lower in the early nineties than twenty years earlier. As far as women are concerned, the numbers increased in both sectors of education. The number of part-time female students increased dramatically from 700
thousand
Use synonyms
 to 1.2 million in the
twenty year
Add a hyphen
twenty-year
show examples
 period. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of women in
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
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 education went up more gradually from 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1971 to just over 200
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1991.
This
Linking Words
 was
similarly
Linking Words
 the increase for
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 male students.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 women in both sectors increased significantly
while
Linking Words
 it seems that the rate of men entering part-time information decreased a little and was fluctuating
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fulltime, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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