IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities. Do you agree or disagree

#growth #shops #town #cities
I entirely agree that the growth of online shopping will be the biggest reason behind the shutdown of all shops in towns and cities in coming future. It is a kind of boon for
shopaholic
Suggestion
Shopaholic
. Many people prefer online shopping because it is less
time
 consuming and
secondly
, one can easily
saves
Suggestion
save
 more by getting benefits from attractive offer and discount on
frequent basis
Suggestion
a frequent basis
. Nowadays, people have so many things to do
,
Accept space
,
it makes them run out of
time
 and when it comes to shopping, they prefer online shopping rather than going out to shopping malls etc. People find online shopping extremely comfortable as it saves lots of travelling
time
. They can be more
productive which
Accept comma addition
productive, which
 everyone is looking for. A survey was conducted
last
 year at
Orient institute
Suggestion
the Orient institute
an Orient institute
Orient institutes
 in California and it was found that 97.02% people showed inclination towards online shopping which is a clear sign of shutdown of all shops in the market.
Moreover
, online shopping offers big discounts all the
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
 make people to shop online more frequently. Buying online is more convenient as people save more money by cutting down their travelling expenses to the shopping malls and market. If an individual
is feeling
Suggestion
feels
 sick and
can not
can not
cannot
 go
outside
Accept comma addition
outside, then
then
 online shopping is the only option left. In
near future
Suggestion
the near future
, more people will definitely switch to online shopping as everyone wants to save more.
Therefore
, it is concluded from above two points that online shopping is highly in
demand which
Accept comma addition
demand, which
 will have an adverse effect on retailing shops, showrooms in form of shutdown.
Submitted by shellyuttam555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: