IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.

#countries #laws #tobacco #buildings #offices #restaurants #intention #arguments #debate #conclusion #side #favour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 decade, some countries ensure smoking
have
Suggestion
has
 a dread impact on
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
 health and they enact laws against smoking in public places like office and restaurant.
Other
Suggestion
Others
 do not take part in
this
Linking Words
 matter. We will argue both
side
Suggestion
sides
 of
discussion
Suggestion
the discussion
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, some studies
have shown
Suggestion
show
 people every year die because of use tobacco
product
Use synonyms
 routinely and smoking
also
Linking Words
 known as a slow killer and bring some disease like lung cancer.
it
Suggestion
It
 should be imposing law against smoking to prevent
massive use
Suggestion
the massive use
 of them.
Smoke
Suggestion
The smoke
 itself contains a thousand of hazardous substances and when somebody smokes in overcrowded places like restaurant people who nearby effected and inhale the gas and
finally
Linking Words
 get sick. Smoke Could cause a vast majority of diseases among children and infants and pregnant women. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the government should try to avoid smoking in public places we should punish people who disobey
this
Linking Words
 rule.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there have been a lot of companies produce
this
Linking Words
product
Use synonyms
 and have a lot of
employee
Suggestion
employees
 and reduce them has certain effect
in
Suggestion
on
economic system
Suggestion
the economic system
economic systems
. Smoking products have been already higher tax to prevent people to purchase
this
Linking Words
product
Use synonyms
 and aim of
this
Linking Words
 kind of law it is only for gain profit rather than citizen’s health. People are
matured
Suggestion
maturing
, everybody
know
Suggestion
knows
 about good and bad and everybody has a right to make your own decision. They should not set strict action against
smoker it
Accept comma addition
smoker, it
 is not practical. In conclusion, I would tend to side with proponents of imposing law against smoking because there are
vast majority
Suggestion
a vast majority
 of
consequences
Suggestion
the consequences
for
Suggestion
of
 overuse
this
Linking Words
product
Use synonyms
 and people who close to
smoker
Suggestion
the smoker
a smoker
 and government will face with
this
Linking Words
 issue and it is Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings
such
Linking Words
 as
offices
Suggestion
Offices
 and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing
this
Linking Words
. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of
this
Linking Words
 debate, and reach your own conclusion
on
Suggestion
On
 which side you favour.
Submitted by vahid.rahimi85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: