Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Agree or disagree?

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More and more people reckon that
entertainment industry
Suggestion
the entertainment industry
is no longer developing as before.
That is
Linking Words
a result of languid human who tend to spend almost time for using modern devices. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
assertion, while it may be true in the case of some communities,
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
seem to be unaffected by technology and the modern world. On the one hand, the advances of technology have driven industrialization in developed countries that have certainly contributed to the disappearance of many entertainment’s types. Especially
leisure
Use synonyms
activities, which require a numerous energy. Working on
computer
Suggestion
the computer
at least eight hours per
day
Use synonyms
make human are no longer interested in outdoor activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they want to spend their little
freetime
Suggestion
free time
to
Suggestion
for
relaxing or doing nothing.
For example
Linking Words
, in England, more and more people
have suffer
Suggestion
have suffered
from obesity syndrome. After a hard working
day
Use synonyms
, they tend to save their time by consuming fast food and unwinding with their smartphones before
go
Suggestion
going
to bed.
As a result
Linking Words
, their bodies are increasingly tired and strained
day
Use synonyms
by
day
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, participating in
leisure
Use synonyms
pursuits gradually became too difficult for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some parts of the world,
leisure
Use synonyms
industry still
thrive
Suggestion
thrives
. Citizens know how to balance their daily life. They are aware of the
beneficial
Suggestion
benefits
benefit
from these activities.
For
Linking Words
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
Vietnam, people have a growing tendency to make the most of
weekend
Suggestion
weekends
for families. Like delight in camping, fishing, horseback riding or dog walking, which call for not only the interaction between family members but
also
Linking Words
a huge amount of calories.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Lao Cai province
Suggestion
the Lao CAI province
Lao CAI province
owns the highest mountain of the southeast in Asia.
Instead
Linking Words
of using cables and conquering a top of
mountain
Suggestion
a mountain
the mountain
in two hours, many individuals have challenged themselves by climbing. They accept to pay from three to four days to earn more survival skills and contact time with nature. In conclusion,
leisure
Use synonyms
still
play
Suggestion
plays
an important rule for healthy life, it has more advantages that modern technology
never ever have
Suggestion
never ever has
.
Submitted by minhmie19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive consumption
  • instant gratification
  • creative content creation
  • problem-solving skills
  • streaming services
  • social media platforms
  • online tutorials
  • enhancing creativity
  • digital age
  • technological advancements
  • cognitive skills
  • innovation
  • interactive platforms
  • virtual reality
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