Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Agree or disagree?

#leisure #industry #people #technology

More and more people reckon that

entertainment industry

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

is no longer developing as before.

That is

a result of languid human who tend to spend almost time for using modern devices. I partly agree with

this

assertion, while it may be true in the case of some communities,

other

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

seem to be unaffected by technology and the modern world. On the one hand, the advances of technology have driven industrialization in developed countries that have certainly contributed to the disappearance of many entertainment’s types. Especially

leisure

activities, which require a numerous energy. Working on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

at least eight hours per

day

make human are no longer interested in outdoor activities.

Furthermore

, they want to spend their little

freetime

Suggestion

free time

Suggestion

for

relaxing or doing nothing.

For example

, in England, more and more people

have suffer

Suggestion

have suffered

from obesity syndrome. After a hard working

day

, they tend to save their time by consuming fast food and unwinding with their smartphones before

Suggestion

going

to bed.

As a result

, their bodies are increasingly tired and strained

day

Hence

, participating in

leisure

pursuits gradually became too difficult for them.

On the other hand

, in some parts of the world,

leisure

industry still

thrive

Suggestion

thrives

. Citizens know how to balance their daily life. They are aware of the

beneficial

Suggestion

benefits

benefit

from these activities.

For

example in

Accept comma addition

example, in

Vietnam, people have a growing tendency to make the most of

weekend

Suggestion

weekends

for families. Like delight in camping, fishing, horseback riding or dog walking, which call for not only the interaction between family members but

also

a huge amount of calories.

Additionally

Lao Cai province

Suggestion

the Lao CAI province

Lao CAI province

owns the highest mountain of the southeast in Asia.

Instead

of using cables and conquering a top of

mountain

Suggestion

a mountain

the mountain

in two hours, many individuals have challenged themselves by climbing. They accept to pay from three to four days to earn more survival skills and contact time with nature. In conclusion,

leisure

still

play

Suggestion

plays

an important rule for healthy life, it has more advantages that modern technology

never ever have

Suggestion

never ever has

Submitted by minhmie19 on Mon May 25 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

passive consumption
instant gratification
creative content creation
problem-solving skills
streaming services
social media platforms
online tutorials
enhancing creativity
digital age
technological advancements
cognitive skills
innovation
interactive platforms
virtual reality

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Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?

Write your essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view. ‘Young people need to keep up-to-date with the latest fashion in clothes.’ Do you agree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others ‚however, believe that school is the palce to learn this. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

One of your friends wants to apply for a job involving working with foreign teenagers. Write a letter of recommendation for him/her. You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing emvironmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?