IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
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It is considered that the authority of any country must more subsidize the public
sector
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instead
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 provide money on the arts. It seems to me that the main goal of
state
Suggestion
states
the state
 is to boost social benefits through financing public services while theatres and museums should be financed by private investors.
This
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 essay will explain why and give a concluding view.
To begin
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 with, it is believed that the most important
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sector which
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sector, which
 must be heavily subsidized is
health
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care
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.
In other words
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, in budgeting the
government
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 must distribute more money on
health
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care
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 and cut
finance
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 for the arts. Because the developed
health
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care
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 system is more valuable than the
sector
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 of
art
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. Examples can be seen in our current
situation
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 in which the authorities of many countries have not prepared and many medical service centres have not been equipped which causes a negative
situation
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 in society.
Moreover
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, if the
government
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 provided more
finance
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 for
health
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care
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 it would allow avoiding the current
situation
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. Another area on which the
government
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 should pay more attention to the educational system. Without a doubt
this
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 is another crucial element that has an influence on the economy, politics, and social
situation
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 in a country.
Furthermore
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, there is a need to focus on
this
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sector
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 and invest in
this
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 by the
government
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.
Finally
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, education and
art
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 are both related to each other and if the authority will
finance
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 educational institutions it will affect the
art
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 too. Overall, education and
health
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care
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 systems are two areas on which the
government
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 should provide more
finance
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 whereas
art
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 must be the private
sector
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.
Submitted by repetskiy.vladimir.s on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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