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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows in percentage the motivation why the adults in the UK go to arts events In the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, with
chronological
Add an article
the chronological
a chronological
show examples
 step of ten
years
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that in the whole 20
years
Use synonyms
 adults
attends
Change the verb form
attend
show examples
 arts, mostly because they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 moved by the desire to see a specific performer or artist, in fact,
this
Linking Words
 percentage is greater than 55% all time, and 20
years
Use synonyms
 ago it reached the peak of 58%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, we can see that work and business aim stays stable below 11%, but we can see a soft increase in
this
Linking Words
 statistic that 20
years
Use synonyms
 ago was only 6%,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 denotes a global disinterest in these fields for economic aims. In the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, we can see that the choice to attend arts for a special occasion or to celebrate events, decrease drastically by 27% to 9 %,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, there was an increasing interest for adults accompanying children to these types of events, in fact, today
this
Linking Words
 reason occupies a quarter of the reported data.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, on the contrary".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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