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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about languages with the most native speakers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about languages with the most native speakers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph shows the data about languages, most spoken in the world, and It reports if who speaks the specific
language
Use synonyms
 is a native
speaker
Use synonyms
 or learned it as an additional
language
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that Mandarin Chinese is the
language
Use synonyms
 with the largest number of
native
Add an article
a native
show examples
Use synonyms
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
, 900
million
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is about three times the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who talk Hindi,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 occupies the
second
Linking Words
placed
Change the form of the verb
place
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 ranking. Mandarin is
also
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
 most diffused additional
language
Use synonyms
, behind only English,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 counts 603
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the speaker
show examples
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 statistic makes English the
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
most spoken
Add the auxiliary verb
is most spoken
show examples
 in the world with only a difference of 150
million
Use synonyms
 people
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Mandarin Chinese. The other languages have
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
much
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 speakers than the previous ones, Spanish and Hindi,
instead
Linking Words
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spoken by more than 400
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people, and a consistent number of these are native
Use synonyms
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
, about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
90%. Portuguese and Arabic are the least spoken languages in
this
Linking Words
 list, and especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Portuguese counts only 10
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
speaker
Change to a plural noun
speakers
show examples
 as an additional
language
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language, speaker, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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