IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better lime to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#advances #science #technology #areas #society #years #lime
Wonders like science and machinery and my others thing that has changed our living standards like our food
,
Accept space
,
 shelters and work and many more and
hence
 increased our ages of living. Some people think
that is
 the best
time
 to
live
go away from a place
leave
. I agree with
this
situation but
Accept comma addition
situation, but
 there are always consequences behind every good thing. Due to advancement we got
solution
Suggestion
the solution
a solution
 to so many problems like during
past
Suggestion
the past time
time
 there was so many diseases which has no medication due to which people die without any health
care but
Accept comma addition
care, but
 today, due to progress in everything we got medication and cure to certain diseases
as a result
 mortality rate has driven up.
Moreover
, people do not meet or talk to each other for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
 due to lack of communication
ways but
Accept comma addition
ways, but
 due to highly progress in a mass communication and transportation, people can even talk with
help
Suggestion
the help
 of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 and see each other every day.
In addition
 to that, every work is made
easy
Suggestion
easier
 and less
time
 consuming
.
Accept space
.
 On the flip side, these human activities have a
devastate
Suggestion
devastating
 effect on our environment. Natural resources are depleting due to over usage, everyday 1000’s of trees are being cut for industrial use leading
too
in the direction of
to
 deforestation. Due to globalization, every single member of a family is working every member has its own car as a consequence of
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 consumption of natural resources per family is ramping
hence
 result in bad effect. To conclude, advancement is necessary in every field due to
passage
Suggestion
the passage
 of
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 to manage its consumption is very important so that I does not have any bad effect
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by simerpalgill25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • quality of life
  • vaccines
  • antibiotics
  • global connectivity
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable future
  • climate change
  • online education
  • knowledgeable and empowered societies
  • privacy issues
  • mental health impacts
  • economic and societal inequalities
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural shifts
  • traditional social structures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: