IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #island #construction #tourist #facilities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided two maps demonstrate the information regarding the
island
Use synonyms
, before the construction and after the change of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 tourist spots. At the first
glance
Add a comma
,glance
show examples
 it is clearly seen that, during
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2015,
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north side of the
island
Use synonyms
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tree
Change to a plural noun
trees
show examples
, which are now converted into
parking
Add an article
the parking
a parking
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.During the past years,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
east
Add an article
the east
show examples
 coastline of the
Use synonyms
island
Add a comma
,island
show examples
 few rides and parks were made for play
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 and these rides
are still remain
Change the verb form
are still remaining
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as they were in the past.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 of the
beach
Add a comma
,beach
show examples
 a new hotel is introduced. Moving
further
Linking Words
, big statues are
also
Linking Words
 built-up for the tourists,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 the hotel.
Moreover
Linking Words
, four swimming pools, which were in the corner of the parking area and remain stable, but
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of these swimming pools there was a garden
also
Linking Words
.But, in the present time, the garden
is vanished
Change to the active voice
vanishes
vanished
show examples
 into a laughing club with lots of seating
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the past era, the
island
Use synonyms
 did not have many facilities but after the
construction
Add a comma
,construction
show examples
 lots of new things had added for the tourists.
Submitted by Rana Gaggon on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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