the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the main reasons why
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
continent becomes less productive. The
causes
are over-grazing, deforestation, over-cultivation, and other
causes
of worldwide land degradation.
In addition
, the table illustrates how these
causes
, affected three
regions
of the world during the 1990s. The
regions
are North
America
,
Europe
, and
Oceania
.
Firstly
, the pie chart shows that 35% of over-grazing is one of the main reasons for ground degradation. In
Oceania
, a large group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand, used 11.3% of over-grazing, 5.5% in
Europe
, and 1.5% in North
America
.
Hence
,
this
has the highest percentage among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land deterioration.
Secondly
, 30% of deforestation, which makes it the
second
highest percentage
next
to over-grazing. In
Oceania
,
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
continent becomes less productive by 1.7% of deforestation, 9.8% in
Europe
, and 0.2% in North
America
.
Thus
, these
regions
are easily affected by natural disasters
such
as
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
, etc.
Thirdly
, 28% of over-cultivation worldwide is the cause of land degradation. In
Oceania
, they don't support
this
procedure, meanwhile, 7.7% in
Europe
, and 3.3% in North
America
. In conclusion, 7% of other
causes
are affected worldwide.
On the other hand
, the most affected
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
show examples
is
Europe
with 23% of the total field degraded,
second
is
Oceania
with 13%, and
lastly
is North
America
with 5%.
Submitted by kath web on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words causes, regions, america, europe, oceania with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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