IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The bar charts illustrate
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
students
did
Correct pronoun usage
who did
show examples
 not
work
 full time
both
graduate
 and postgraduate in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 after finishing college in 2008. What stands out from the graph
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
further
 study registered the most student
numbers
 of
both
UK
 graduates and postgraduates in 2008,
while
 voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 had the lowest student
numbers
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 of them.
Moreover
,
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
 and
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
students
 witness
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
UK
 graduates and postgraduates. As can be seen from the graph, the
further
 study
numbers
 in
UK
 graduates and
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
come
Add the particle
tocome
show examples
 top
Change preposition
of a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rankings in 2008, followed by part-time
work
.
Further
 study
numbers
 of
UK
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 accounted for just under 30.000 and approximately 2.500 respectively. The
second
number
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
 to
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 part, which has
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above just 16.000 and 1.600. The lowest
number
 of
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and
postgruduate
Correct your spelling
post graduates
 were shown by
voluntary
Correct article usage
the voluntary
show examples
work
 section, which stood at about 3.500 and 345 respectively.
On the other hand
,
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 and
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
graduate
students
 made up
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
17,725 and 16,235 respectively,
whereas
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduate
students
 constitute
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2,535 and 1,625.
Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, students, work, both, graduate, uk, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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