IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summaries #information #features #comparisons
This
 cycle is explaining the life cycle of
salmon
fish
.
It is clear that
salmon
 needs to go through
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three
steps
. In each stage their
size
 and shape
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
Change preposition
from then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 previous
steps
. In
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
step
,
salmon
 lay their eggs around the small stones under reeds for approximately six months upper the
river
 with slow
movement
. The
size
 of
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
show examples
 3 to 4
centimetres
 In
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
step
,
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
fish
move
 from
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
show examples
river
 to
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
. Their
movement
 becomes faster in lower rivers. They stay their approximately 4
years
. The
size
 of
selmons
Correct your spelling
sermons
salmon
salmons
 in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
step
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 12 to 15
centimetres
.In
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
 stride,
Correct article usage
the selmon
show examples
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
move
 from
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
 to
open
Correct article usage
the open
show examples
sea
. The
size
 of
selmons
Correct your spelling
sermons
salmon
salmons
 becomes 70 to 76
centimetres
, these
salmon
called
Add a missing verb
are called
show examples
adult
salmon
. The duration of
adult
salmon
 in
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
sea
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 5
years
. So,
selmon
Change the capitalization
Selmon
show examples
 changes their
size
 in three
steps
 Fry, Smolt and
adult
fish
. In
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
step
,
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
fish
move
 from
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
show examples
river
 to
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
. Their
movement
 becomes faster in lower rivers. They stay their approximately 4
years
. The
size
 of
selmons
Correct your spelling
sermons
salmon
salmons
 in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
step
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 12 to 15
centimetres
third
 stride,
Correct article usage
the selmon
show examples
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
move
 from
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
 to
open
Correct article usage
the open
show examples
sea
. The
size
 of
selmons
Correct your spelling
sermons
salmon
salmons
 becomes 70 to 76
centimetres
, these
salmon
called
Add a missing verb
are called
show examples
adult
salmon
. The duration of
adult
salmon
 in
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
sea
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 5
years
. So,
selmon
Change the capitalization
Selmon
show examples
 changes their
size
 in three
steps
 Fry, Smolt and
adult
fish
.In
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
step
,
selmon
Correct your spelling
salmon
Selmon
fish
move
 from
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
show examples
river
 to
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
. Their
movement
 becomes faster in lower rivers. They stay their approximately 4
years
. The
size
 of
selmons
Correct your spelling
sermons
salmon
salmons
 in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
step
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 12 to 15
centimetres
.
Submitted by jackson on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, third".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, fish, steps, size, step, river, movement, selmon, centimetres, second, move, years, selmons, sea, adult with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: